Funhouse
by Miss Misled-Bloodshed
Summary: Stupid little crack story I wrote while bored! The evil characters from some of my fandoms are brought to a secret base in the middle of nowhere. Trapped in a room with only each other for company, the find that the only way to escape is to prove they are the maddest and baddest person in the room. Rated T for Chucky's foul mouth, use of the word 'Muggle' and Nny's torture methods!
1. Fangirl Dilemmas

**So seeing as I don't have to worry about KALD anymore (I killed it) I thought I would work on a couple of other fics until the sequel to SFE comes out. It will happen, my lovely ducks!**

**A weird little idea I have only just come up with. I hope the rabid fangirls like it!**

**Missyclaimer: I don't own any characters belonging here. They belong to their respected geniuses. Don Mancini, Tim Burton and Jhonen Vasquez are just 3.**

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A klaxon sounded and the prisoners were pushed forward.

With shouts of objection and obscenities being yelled, most of them from the ginger of the group, they were shoved into the metal room and fell to the floor. Moans echoed and bounced through the room, but none tried to get up.

' Oh God, my spine...' Said the ginger, as the doors closed and a series of clicks could be heard. He attempted to sit up, but failed miserably. He craned his neck to look at his surroundings. 'Where the hell am I?'

The room around him was white and shiny, as well as very, very bright. Every surface practically shone, it was like looking into heaven. Speaking of which, was that where he was? He'd be very surprised if it was. What had he done? Apologised? Gone cold turkey on killing? Read his kids a bedtime story? He remembered doing none of that.

' Oh dear, my ribbons!' The ginger heard a little girl's voice, her strong Russian accent ringing in his plastic ears. He looked behind him, not remembering her very well. Her face was quite new to him. The girl couldn't have been older than nine, her dark hair was pulled into pigtails and ribbons were fastened around the hairbands. She was groping at the floor, trying to collect the little strips of fabric between her small, pale fingers. She was muttering to herself in a language he could not understand, though judging from her accent it was probably Russian. He continued to state at her until she fastened her ribbons back around her white neck and wrists, and looked up at him.

As soon as she saw him, she recoiled in horror. _Jeez, _he thought, _am I really that fugly? I admit, Tiff could've gone easier on the stitching, but..._

The girl sat up from where she had fallen back on seeing the doll, his cuts seeming to illuminate his face in the bright light, making him look even more hideous than he already was. The doll did not move, choosing instead to remain in Barbie-mode. The little girl scooted toward the doll slowly, not entirely sure if she should be near it at all. But still she persisted, picking the abomination up by its torso and looking deep into the crystal blue depths either sides of its snub little nose. ' Oh dear,' She said. 'What happened to you, hmmm?'

The doll stayed silent, its cheesy smile tugging at its plastic lips. Whereas the mouth didn't mouth the words like a normal human would, a cheery voice rang through the room, causing the other prisoners to stir slightly.

'Hi, I'm Chucky, and I'm your friend to the end! Hidey ho, ha ha ha!'

The girl grimaced and put the doll down. She felt uneasy being at the same level as him. ' Chucky, hmmm? Well, my name is-'

She was interrupted by a voice shouting over her. 'Filthy human! Prepare to be obliterated!' She turned to see several others on the floor, only one of them standing and pointing his gloved finger at her. It seemed to be some kind of alien. It's head was oddly shaped and the eyes were nothing more than red orbs, clashing well with its green skin. Two tentacle-like things on its head were pushed back. The voice that eminated from it was relatively human-like. 'Who are you?' Said the girl. The alien thing put its hands on its hips and stared holes through her.

'I don't answer to humanoid questions. My race is far more superior than your own and as soon as I press this button,' he pointed to a bracelet type thing on his arm, going from his elbow to his wrist, ' The entire Irken armada will be appearing right here to obliterate you all!' He laughed and brought his gloved finger down on the button before the girl could stop him. He continued to laugh and imagined dramatic music playing (sing the Doom Song at home if you like). The girl took her hands from her face and looked around. She, the creepy doll, the alien and all the others were the only ones in the room.

The alien stopped laughing and looked around the room, expecting to see the Tallest and the Irken army flooding the room, instead of nothing. He was confused, and pressed the button once more. Nothing. He tapped it a few times more, becoming very impatient, before tearing it from his arm and throwing it behind him. He heard a clunk and a groan, so he looked behind him to see a woman. She was dressed all in black, from the ankle length skirt to the black waistcoat. Her hair was long and exceedingly curly, and her heavy-lidded eyes hid something dark. She stood up and grabbed the alien by his collar, lifting him up into the air with many objections.

'That hurt, you filthy-' She looked at him properly. '-Muggle?'

'Unhand me, you horrible collection of cells and microbes! I am an Irken invader and you will listen to me!' Screamed the alien. The woman let the alien kid fall to the floor and thrust her hand into her coat pocket, feeling for her wand. Oh, how the Dark Lord would hear about this. Kidnapping a pure-blood? Never had it been heard of before.

She made to pull out her wand and utter the dreaded two words, or one, if she felt like playing with her food before she ate it, but her long polished fingers only came into contact with silky fabric. She panicked, feeling around for the long blackthorn stick. It was nowhere to be felt. She couldn't understand. She _remembered _putting it in her coat pocket. It had been there before she had been- ah. That made sense. Whoever had taken her against her own will must've taken her wand as well.

' My wand!' She yelled. ' They've taken my wand! Dirty Muggle machines! Filthy wretches! My beautiful wand!' She screamed like she'd just lost a hand. The alien, the girl and the doll just watched. The woman continued to scream, before suddenly getting cut off.

A long, spindly hand was wrapped around her neck, even paler than she was. The one that was connected to it was male, who was dressed like her slightly. His waistcoat was brown and he wore a frilly shirt in a blinding white, except for a few red stains here and there. His trousers were grey and he wore black boots. His face was pale and his eyes were sunken, taking all attention away from his maddening hair, which was black with a long white streak in it. 'Silence, my dear, and let Sweeney give you a trim.' He whispered in his proper English accent. The dark woman twisted her neck to get a glimpse of her attacker. When he saw her, his bloodshot eyes went wide. 'Mrs Lovett?' He whispered coarsely.

'Who?' Snapped the woman. ' My name is not "Mrs Lovett", my name is Bellatrix Lestrange, Death Eater and the Dark Lord's faithful servant! Get your Muggle hands off me!' She stepped forward quickly, Sweeney not being ready for it, let go without being aware of what he was doing. He just continued to stare at her. Bellatrix simply looked away, and her cold eyes rested on the creepy doll.

' Oh, my giddy aunt! What on _earth_ is that _hideous _creature! He looks like he fell face first into a fan!' (Depends what kind of fan, Bella, if you know what I mean.)

She edged towards the creepy child's toy, picking it up by its extremities and staring into its eyes, just as the girl had. The life force inside Chucky stirred but he didn't make an attempt to kill the woman. While they had been threatening each other, he had reached for his trusty butcher knife but found it nowhere. He had come to the conclusion that everybody's weapons had been taken from them on entering this prison. Chucky was extremely ticked off about this. Nobody touched his knives but him. Not even Tiffany. Not even Glenda. And certainly not Glen. In fact, the kid refused to go anywhere near the basement, which was where Chucky kept most of his slaughter weapons. Glen was such a wuss.

'Ugh, who would even think about owning this horrible thing?' Said Bellatrix. She held it at arms length, as if its ugliness turned out to be contagious. She looked at the girl, back at the doll, and back to the girl again. Finally, after much swapping looks, she dropped the doll into the girl's arms and sauntered away. The girl just managed to catch it. _Funny_, she thought, _I don't remember it being this heavy before._

The prisoners that were conscious sat in silence before a series of beeps could be heard, and a TV appeared from the ceiling. Bellatrix and Sweeney, not being familiar with this kind of technology, backed away relatively quickly.

The TV switched on and a figure appeared on the screen. It was female and quite young, she must've been in her early teens. Her hair was dark blonde, she wore glasses and a skull hairband. Two "beauty marks" were visible on the left side of her nose as well as the right side of her mouth near her chin. She was smiling widely, revealing silver braces.

' Hello, sweeties!' She said brightly. She was English. Nobody responded, but the girl didn't seem fazed at all, instead choosing to clear her throat and speak again. 'I hope you're not hurt after earlier's mishaps, I did tell the SWATbots to go easy on you! My name is Miss Misled-Bloodshed, but you can call me Missy!'

Chucky had a few names to call the girl, but Missy wasn't one of them. Everybody else seemed to have the same idea.

'Now, you must all be wondering what you're doing here. And I'll tell you. It's quite funny, actually!' She giggled and looked at everyone, seeming to count them all. 'Hm. I'm sure there were seven of you! Let's see, it's register time!' She produced a clipboard out of nowhere. ' Okay, Bellatrix? Yup. Chucky? Uh huh. Esther? Yep. Or should I say Leena? Johnny?' She scanned the room with hazel eyes, tapping her pen on her clipboard. 'Nny, honeybunches! Where are y- ah, there you are!' Everybody looked around to see a tall, extremely thin man appear from the shadows. He looked about 15, but the could be in his early twenties, too. He was really pale, his eyes were dark and sunken and his hair was jet black, going in all directions. He wore a T-shirt with "Z?" on the front and a long black tailed trench coat. His boots were knee high and buckled. His hands were stuffed into the pocket of his coat and he was looking at the floor. 'Handsome as ever.' Said Missy, a doting look on her face. She looked back at her keyboard. 'Master?' She looked back up to see a second man emerge from the shadows, his face pale and grey too, but he had blonde hair and a black hoodie and jeans on. He looked at Missy with such hatred in his eyes, it was a wonder she wasn't dead yet. 'Aww, is someone grumpy?' She joked, brushing her fringe out of her eyes with black fingernails. ' Sweeney? Yes, you cutie! And last but not least, Zim! Yuparoonies!' She made a tick on the clipboard and threw it carelessly behind her.

'Now, as I was saying before you two decided to play peek-a-boo. You must be wondering where you are and why you're here. It's simple! I'm a hormonal teenager with no social life and dangerously high sugar levels! So, I decided to kidnap all of my favourite characters from all my fandoms, mush you together and watch you from the comfort of this top secret base. Plus, they make excellent Blendini's here. I got me a Mars one!' She took a sip from her cup and put it down. The prisoners-or, my special little sweethearts, if you would prefer- looked at her in disbelief. Was this girl for real?

'Excuse me, but I really don't understand.' Said Sweeney. 'You took us from the comfort of our own personal spaces, placed us in a room for God knows how long, just because you wanted to see how we'd react?'

'Oh, no, no, no! I would never do that to my special little sweethearts! No, this is something a little darker.

' All of you are the villains in your own little world. Some at one stage, some at a higher one. But that's okay. Because you're my favourites. Anyway, I brought you here on account of the fact that you all insist you're extremely evil. And most of you are. Johnny, you've killed thousands of people since you were 17 or so and Bellatrix, you tortured Neville Longbottom's parents into madness alongwith God knows how many others. Those are just a couple of examples.

'So, I decided to kidnap y'all and place you in a titanium room, with no means of escape and no Wi-Fi! How horrible, right? I wouldn't be able to survive! Your only way out is to prove that you are the most evil person in the room. Do that, and you're free to go!' Missy took another sip from her plastic cup.

' And what about the others?' Asked Esther.

' Oh, well, I guess I'll just find some jobs for you to do around here. The cleaning staff has been running low lately... toilet staff, activate!'

'How long will we be here?' Asked Bellatrix. It seems that Sweeney, Esther and Bellatrix are the only ones who want to ask questions.

'As long as it takes for someone to prove they're the evillest of them all!' Missy threw her legs over the leg of her chair and looked at the prisoners. ' Oh don't worry, I've made sure you have food and water and such. Beds will appear at night time and only night time. Nny, I respect your insomniac ways and am not forcing you to sleep. But I do suggest you nap, even for a little while.'

She smiled at her special little sweethearts and appeared to think, scanning the room with hazel eyes. They came to rest on the creepy doll that had somehow moved while everyone was asking questions. ' Oh, and Chucky, don't stay in Barbie mode for long, I'm not fooled.' She looked at everyone and smiled. 'Well, I have to go! Any questions you have to add to your mountain can be answered at dinner time. Toodles!'

And with that, the screen turned off and everyone was left in silence. Bellatrix looked at the creepy doll that Missy had named Chucky, and gritted her teeth. 'What did she mean, Barbie mode? What is a Barbie? Is it some kind of Muggle weapon? Tell me!'

Suddenly, Chucky came to life, speaking in his cheesy child voice. 'Hi, I'm Chucky, and I wouldn't talk if I were you!' Bellatrix shuddered. She had seen many disturbing things in her life, but this just took the Chocolate Cauldron.

'A Barbie is a doll that young girls play with. They usually follow the blonde stereotype, ditzy, dumb, fashion obsessed. I've never owned one, but then again, they were quite expensive for a lowly orphan like me.' Said Esther, picking up the doll and holding it in her arms. Suddenly, Chucky began to thrash and kick, swearing in a voice that was too human for him. He sounded like a man.

' Hey, put me down, kid! I've had enough manhandling for today! And WHERE THE FUCK IS MY KNIFE?!'

Esther dropped Chucky and ran to hide behind Bellatrix, who slapped her hand away from her skirt when Esther tried to hold on. Chucky stayed motionless on the floor for a few seconds, but then sat back up rather human-like. He blinked and his facial features melted into something far less innocent than the doll he pretended to be.

'Where the fuck is that crazy bitch? I'm gonna gut her so bad I can stuff her and give her to Glenda as a birthday present! Where is she, dammit?!' Chucky shouted, so that everyone turned to look at him. He had a Chicago accent.

'W-who are you?' Asked Esther from behind Bellatrix. Chucky focused his electric blue eyes on the young girl and folded his arms over his stripy chest. ' The name is Charles, but everyone calls me Chucky.' He tapped a foot impatiently.

'Why do you talk like that?' Asked Bellatrix. Sweeney and Zim came over to see the scene, while Johnny and The Master stayed sulking in the shadows. Chucky looked up at the Death Eater. 'Simple. The name's Charles Lee Ray, the Lakeshore Strangler, yadda yadda yadda. I was gunned down in a toy store back in '88 and to extract revenge on those who killed me and those who left me to be killed,' He gritted his plastic teeth. 'I used voodoo magic to pass my soul into this doll. I've been like this for 26 years nearly. It's really taken a toll on my social life. Nobody's gonna wanna be friends with a homicidal doll, are they?'

A voice eminated from the shadows, and everyone turned around to see Johnny speaking for the first time since being brought there. 'If you're all done with your Mother's meeting...' He said, wringing his wrists. 'Because I don't know about you, but I want to go home. I left a cheerleader with an axe through her spine and I'm not getting any younger.'

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**Finito! **

**Wow, this really ate up my weekend. I've been typing since 8 this morning (UK time) and am not used to being up that early on a weekend. **

**This was originally going to be a one shot, but I thought it would format better as a multi chapter fic. So...yeah!**

**Next chapter out as soon as I can be bothered! Read and review, please, it really does help me. Also, review if you think I did alright with Esther's character. I'm opting for her child persona before she goes bat-shit crazy.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed! I own nought! **


	2. I'm Such A Wannabe Fillerbunny

**Really short AN here! Just a thank you note for those who read and/or reviewed. It's so nice to see you like this story! So here is the second chapter, as promised!**

**By the way, I was thinking about changing my pen name to Invader Mis or Invader Jo, but I was reading IZ fan fiction the other day and about 5 other authors have similar pen names. So I scrapped that.**

**Thanks to CharlotteRay and yasdnilgoth for reviewing! Have a bar of bacon soap!**

**Missyclaimer: I OWN NISH EXCEPT THE PLOT AND THIS KIT-KAT I AM CURRENTLY NIBBLING! And myself, of course. **

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It took a while for the others to register what Johnny had said. The more bloodthirsty of the group (Esther, Chucky, Sweeney) had goosebumps at the thought of how lucky he was to have such a perfect kill, while the others (Zim, Bellatrix, Master) looked like they were going to throw up.

'I propose that we at least get to know our inmates before we do anything else. It just seems polite.' Said Nny, bringing his hands out of his pockets to fold them behind his back. Chucky snickered. ' Says the guy who put an axe through a cheerleader's spine.' Nny glared at the ginger before resuming his natural facial expression.

'Good idea.' Said Esther, smiling.

' Okay, I think we should go in alphabetical order. Uh... Bellatrix? How about you first?' Bellatrix looked affronted at being told what to do by a Muggle, but quickly forgot, jumping at the chance to talk about herself and her devotedness to the Dark Arts.

' My name is Bellatrix Lestrange, pure-blood witch and former member of the Black family. Which, I can assure you, has not a drop of dirty Muggle blood in its roots.

I am the Dark Lord's faithful servant, and his loyal companion. I assisted in the capturing of Harry Potter and the slaughter of Sirius Black.' She finished talking about herself, and stepped back, looking quite proud.

Next was Chucky.

'Uh yeah, so I kinda told you all some stuff about myself a second ago, but all there really is to it is that my name is Charles Lee Ray, the Lakeshore Strangler. I'm a serial killer and voodoo practitioner. I was shot in a toy store back in 1988 and to avoid goin' to Hell or wherever it is non-religious people go, I passed my soul into this doll. It's been 26 years almost, and during that time I got married and had kids, twins Glen and Glenda, who are also dolls. My wife Tiffany and I were kind of in the middle of something, hence the fact that I'm covered in blood.' Everyone looked at the overall clad doll for a moment, and realized that he was in fact, covered in blood. It had been hard to see with the blinding lights.

Esther raised her hand, and Chucky raised an eyebrow. 'Uh...yeah?'

'If you're a doll, how did you have children?' Asked Esther, her Russian accent dripping with sweetness. It was a wonder honey wasn't oozing down her tongue. I'm cereal.

Chucky looked embarrassed and scratched the back of his head. 'Um...it's a long story. Basically it involved Jennifer Tilly and a lot of dolls to suit Glenda's taste.'

The next person forward was Esther.

'Well, my name is Esther and I am nine years old. I don't know why I am here and why that scary girl kidnapped me, but I can assure you that I am not going to kill anyone. I have a Bible at home, you know, and I know that murder is a sin.

'I come from Estonia which is on the border of north-west Russia, and I am an orphan. I like to paint and sing in my spare time. I also enjoy playing the piano.' She smiled again and stepped backwards.

Master stepped forward speaking for the first time since being seen. From the first word, it was evident he was English.

'I am the Master, Time Lord and general lunatic. The Doctor was the only other of my kind and he betrayed the Time Lord's trust by taking the Time And Relative Dimension In Space box, or the "T.A.R.D.I.S"' He rolled his eyes at that bit. ' And running off to save the universe multiple times. I enjoy flower arranging and food, lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of food. Meats, vegetables, sweets, oils, wines, bubbling fat and juicy-juicy-juicy steaks and porks and slabs of-'

'Alright, alright, we get it, you like food.' Said Chucky, holding a stitched up plastic hand. He looked tortured: the Master's ravings about human fuel was making him desperately hungry.

The next person to take the stage was Sweeney. Or it would've been, if Zim hadn't pushed him out of the way and yelled at the top of his voice.

' This is getting us nowhere! Listen to the almighty Zim, he will guide you away from here with his superior intellect! Follow me, human worm-babies!' He dived at the nearest wall and with a splat, landed on the floor. He did not get up for several moments. Enough time for Sweeney to give information about himself.

' My name is Sweeney Todd, originally Benjamin Barker. I was a barber before I was wrongfully transported to Australia for something I had not done, and left behind my wife and new born daughter. 10 years later I arrived back in Fleet Street, and found out my wife, Lucy, had committed suicide and my daughter Johanna was in the hands of the man who sent me away in the first place. I continued my original career, except becoming more bloodthirsty. I slit the throats of my customers and my partner in crime, Mrs Lovett,' He looked at Bellatrix, who folded her arms and stuck her nose in the air. 'Made them into pies. The worst pies in London, might I add. That is all.' He stepped back. There was an awkward silence before Zim unstuck his face from the floor and jumped up.

'Now for me! I shall inform you piteous humans on the Almighty Invader Zim!

' My mission is clear and simple: to invade planet Earth and make the humans my slaves so that my people-the Irken race- can become masters of the universe! My mission was special, sent to a planet far away from my own. Of course, I can see why they chose me to do it, I am extremely gifted in the ways of-' He paused, trying to think of a word to describe his mission. '...invading...stuff...' He finished. He looked up at everyone except Chucky, whom he was around the same height as. He looked as if he was expecting them all to bow to him, the inferior worshipping the superior, so to speak. None did such a thing. So about that time Johnny, the last person to reveal his past to everyone, cleared his throat and spoke.

'Uh, yeah. So my name is Johnny C., but you can call me Nny for short. Well, those who don't get on my bad side can, anyway.

'I am a serial killer who likes drawing comics, Happy Noodle Boy, mostly. It's very popular within the homeless insane community. I used to be controlled by Psychodoughboy and Mr Eff., but they're gone now. They disappeared after I was killed and resurrected. I've been to Heaven and Hell, and I still don't know if there is a God or not. I've met the devil. Oh, and by the way, Chucky,' He turned to the ginger doll, who was kicking the tile floor with his Good Guy sneakers in boredom. ' Satan says hey.' Chucky looked awkward for a second, then nodded.

Nny looked around the room, studying everyone with muddy brown eyes. 'So, I think that's everyone?' Everyone mumbled and fidgeted. 'Alright then. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to retreat to this corner now. I'm not used to this much social contact.'

Everyone dispersed, except Esther and Chucky. Esther looked down at the doll, and Chucky looked back up at her. The two stared at each other for a second, before Esther tilted her head and smiled slightly. 'You know, you're not that ugly. The scars suit you, I think.' Chucky looked sheepish and dug his plastic hands into his dungaree pockets. 'Thanks kid.' He said, edging away. Esther smiled sweetly and turned away too, and with a swish of her skirt she was on the other side of the room before Chucky could say 'damballa'.

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**So this chapter is more of a filler. I pretty much took everything about the characters and made them talk about it. Feel free to ignore this chapter.**

***tears form under her eyes* I miss you, Kit-Kat. *wipes eyes with empty wrapper***

**It would be fandabbydozy if you could review! Now, for my snazzy exit! *puts on red cape and flings arm in the air* Excelsior!**


	3. Back In Black and Purple

***tries to sneak in unnoticed, but the readers see her and boo***

**Oh... heh... h-hi, guys! Uh, long time no see, huh? *dodges a flaming can being thrown at her***

**Alright, alright, I get it. It's been too long. But I've been busy!**

***cricket noises***

**Okay, that was a lie. I've just had writer's block. That's the main reason I hate writing multi-chapter fics, either I don't finish them or I do and end up hating them. Or both. But this fic will only be a couple of chapters long, so you know what that means! It means I need to get my quest on (ha, DF reference) and start the elimination process.**

**By the way, to those who have asked me to put some other characters from other fandoms in this story, I'm going to have to not-so-politely decline. This story was for MY fandoms, and I basically wrote it for my own sick, fangirly pleasure. Adding characters from shows/films/ books would just take the whole point of this story away from me. I may add some characters from shows/films/books I am familiar with, but then again, it would just become a multi-chapter drabble. So maybe not. One of my best friends (yes, I have some!) will probably make an appearance here sometime, mainly because she got an account in February and has not got off her arse and written anything yet. She hasn't even filled in her profile! Come ON, Al! I doubt she's even reading this. She'll be making a voice appearance only in this chapter.**

**Ah, heck, I don't know.**

**Missyclaimer: Miss Misled-Bloodshed does not, in any way, shape or form own any of the characters appearing here. She owns only half of herself (the other half belongs to long lie-ins on the weekend) and a Stewie Griffin tea mug.**

**Well, enjoy, I guess. Or don't. I'll try and make this good.**

* * *

At around half past six in the evening Missy appeared again. By this time everyone was bored out of their mind, some had even shed some items of clothing, for the room wasn't air conditioned. Johnny, however, could somehow stand the heat, despite him remarking multiple times to whoever he thought would listen that he hated humidity. He kept the long black coat on though, as well as his steel toed boots. Zim and Chucky were back to back, fanning themselves with their hands. Esther had rolled up her sleeves and taken off her shoes and socks, but had not shed herself of her ribbons. Sweeney and Bellatrix were playing cards and the Master was imagining a huge banquet before his eyes, not to mention he was drooling profusely.

The screen that had turned on a few hours ago buzzed a bit and everybody's attention snapped towards it. Most of them, no, all of them glared at the figure that greeted them.

Missy was smiling widely, in different clothes than she had been before. A simple black tank top and shorts. She hadn't shed the purple Converse though. She didn't look warm, and if you looked very closely (go on, look!) you could see her hair waving in a slight breeze.

'Howdily ho, neighboureenos! And how are you all doing this fine evening?' She asked. Nobody answered, it seemed their facial expressions were evidence enough. Missy cleared her throat awkwardly. 'Anydoodles, I just though I'd check up on you all, make sure no-one was trying to escape. Not that you'd be able to of course.'

Chucky spoke first. 'Yeah, I've been meaning to ask you that; how the hell can you afford all this? You're like, fourteen.'

'Never underestimate the power of the fandom-fueled fangirl, Charles. By the way, what's going on down there? You all look worn out.' Asked Missy. Everyone said the same thing at the same time.

'Put the goddamn air-conditioning on, bitch!' Missy giggled nervously. 'Oh yeah, I _knew _there was something I'd forgotten!' They saw her bring a transparent control panel similar to that of Irken technology and tap a complicated code on it. At once, the room filled with cool air and everyone sighed in relief. 'Thank Jesus.' Said Chucky.

'Now, I decided to grace you all with my presence for one reason. I got a little test for ya'll.' Said Missy, taking off her glasses and polishing them before replacing them on her nose again. Nobody paid much attention. Missy raised her eyebrows. 'If you win, it's a one way ticket out of here.' Everyone jumped up and rushed to the screen, badgering Missy with shouts and questions.

'Woah, woah, woah! Back, Hippogriffs, back! I haven't explained it all yet!' Everyone, bar Zim, of course, backed down. 'Zim demands to know what this test is! By the power of his exceptional Irken fighting skills he will win this ticket out of this hellhole! Tell me! Teeeeeeell meeee!'

A pair of arms appeared from the sides of Missy's screen and pinched Zim by the antennae. He screeched in protest and wriggled uncomfortably, but he was soon replaced a few feet away from the screen carefully. The arms retracted themselves and Missy swiped her fringe out of her eyes. 'Don't touch the sciencey shit, honey.'

'Enough with your nonsense talk, Mudblood, and tell us about this "test"!' Said Bellatrix, her hands upon her hips. Missy smiled in that creepy way again. 'Glad you asked, Bella. You know why? Because it saves me going into loads of detail in the Author's Note. I don't know what this test is. The readers decide what unspeakable torture I, Miss Misled-Bloodshed, put you through. It's kind of like Big Brother, only a lot more messed up.'

'What do you mean?' Asked Johnny. Missy looked at him with glee. 'Ermehgerd, that's the first time I've heard you speak. I always thought you'd sound like Devon Bostick or a twenty-something Eric Anderson, though my friend said you'd sound like Johnny Depp. I win!' She leaned back and seemed to call back into a separate room. 'I told you, Al! He sounds like Rodrick or Kristofferson! You lose, taco-girl!' The Special-Little-Sweethearts heard a crash from another room on the screen and what sounded like a 'Screw you!'

Missy turned her attention back to the Fandoms. 'Okay then, back to business.' She summoned a notepad out of nowhere and flipped it open to a random page. 'Basically, the readers that read this abomination of a story get to choose how their least favourite character is eliminated! Be it bull-riding on a criminally fluffy unicorn, whipped cream fights or good old fashioned diving into a pit of lava (may Alfred the chupacabra rest in peace). The choice is theirs!'

'Wait, wait, wait, wait, _wait!'_ Said Sweeney. 'You mean to say that there are people watching us, right now, through some means of your twisted sorcery?'

'Not exactly watch-_ing, _all of this has already happened. I'm just writing it down for future reference, and therefore, telling the story all over again; which is how you're doing things now. So if I did _this,_' Missy threw her notepad behind her, and a cat screeched. Simultaneously, the Fandoms froze. Missy hopped out of her seat and skipped behind the chair and retrieved her note pad and sat down again. As soon as she put the pen back on the paper, everyone was able to move again. Don't make me explain, it hurts my brain.

'So, here's the skinny. I put you in a room full of strangers, and to escape you need to prove that you're the most evil person in the room. The elimination process can be anything from "Who Can Slap A Kitten The Hardest" to "Eating New Born Babies". I don't mind what they choose. All they have to do is drop a review telling me about their ideas and I'll do the rest!'

Everyone seemed to understand after that. Missy chuckled and looked thoughtful. 'Hmm, there was something else, too, but I can't quite remember...'

'Well, you'd better start to, because I'm starving.' Said The Master. Missy gazed at him, lost in thought, before snapping her fingers. 'That's it! Dinner!'

The Fandoms watched as Missy brought down the screen from earlier and tapped another code. Behind the Fandoms, a hole opened up in the floor and a table, almost collapsing with food elevated up. Everyone stared in shock. 'Well, what are you waiting for? Clog your God-forsaken arteries! Clog them I say!'

The Fandoms instantly rushed at the table, though none quite as fast as the Master. The table had been laid with the utmost care, and foods to suit everyone were there. Skettios, tacos, Turkey, Irken sandwiches, human sandwiches, meat pies, Brainfreezies, pumpkin juice, ham, enchiladas, chicken, curry, stuffing, cupcakes, soup, guateu, Blendini's, salad, couscous, peppers, Poop bars, salmon, mashed potatoes and so much more. 'Sorry about the delay, I wanted to make sure I had your full undivided attention before you became befuddled by our excellent feast.'

Not that anyone was listening. Missy shrugged and pressed another button. Beds appeared from the walls in a bunk bed like fashion. 'When you become so full you can no longer stand, your beds are over there. Now, I must flee! Doctor Who starts in five minutes!' The Master looked at her in apprehension. 'Talk about breaking the fourth wall, huh? Oh well. Missy out.' And finally, the screen turned off. Everyone sighed in relief at the power-crazy fangirl's immediate absence. 'The hy-ooman doesn't know when to be silent. When Zim wins this ridiculous contest, he will make sure she hurts...' Said Zim, through mouthfuls of Irken sandwiches.

'Who says you're going to win?' Asked Johnny, munching on Skettios and sipping his Brainfreezy. 'It could be any of us. We're all pretty evil. Except her.' He pointed to Esther, who was daintily nibbling on a cupcake. She looked up, feeling everyone looking at her. ' She doesn't look or act evil at all. What the heck are you doing here, anyway?'

Esther bowed her head. 'I don't know.'

'Well, you must be bad in some way. "Missy" said everyone was here to prove they're the most evil. Why bring you here if you're not competition?' Stated Sweeney. Everyone murmured in agreement and nodded. Esther shrugged. 'I told you, I don't know why I'm here. I'm not bad, just a lowly orphan. I don't know why she picked me.' She sniffed, as if she was about to cry. Johnny, who hated any kind of emotion after beginning his quest to become cold, edged away awkwardly. It was Chucky, who hadn't said anything since Missy answered his question earlier, who spoke up. He speared a baby sausage on his plastic fork (what, you thought I'd give them real cutlery?) feeling like a fool.

'I can't believe she took my knife. Nobody ever takes my knives.'

Johnny burped and looked at Chucky. 'I feel your pain, Chucky. She took my katanas too.'

'And my wand.' Said Bellatrix angrily.

' And my barber tools.' Said Sweeney, gloomily.

'And my Irken laser guns, behavioural modulator, self-destruct button, lightsaber, downloadable personality chip, XGDS-Irk Weapon decoder and rubber piggy.' Said Zim. 'Oh yeah, she's going to feel bruises on her filthy hy-ooman skin after I'm done with her...'

Everyone ate in silence for the next ten minutes, until all were full to bursting. They made for the beds, not exactly happy but certainly a little less agitated than when they had arrived. Today had been tiring, and they were just thankful that Missy wasn't so heartless that she left beds out of the deal.

Zim and Chucky fought for the top bunk like children, and it ended up with Zim winning. He cheered in his native language and settled down for the night. Irkens don't need to sleep often, but he had been working on a new plan to destroy all mankind for the past couple of weeks and his PAK battery was critically low. So he mentally powered his PAK off and went into hibernation instantly. Chucky, who was now on the floor after Zim and his little scuffle, murmured curses under his breath and settled for the bunk underneath Zim.

One by one, everyone tumbled into bed, and one by one, everyone but Johnny fell asleep. I don't think I need to explain why. I mean, surely you know?

**Meanwhile...**

**_Hackensack, New Jersey_**

Heeled black boots clicked along linoleum and a snowy white wedding dress dragged along the floor lightly as Tiffany Ray searched for her husband, Chucky. It had been a few hours since she'd seen him. She remembered seeing him beside her as they were killing the Jehovah witnesses that dared walk up the path, and then he was gone. She had to hide the bodies in the yard. Unfortunately, Glenda insisted she used one for an "experiment". Tiffany, being a sucker for voluntary home education, agreed.

Tiffany walked up to Glen's room on the second floor and opened the door. She asked Glen to always keep the door open so she could simply walk in, as she wasn't even half the height of the doorknob. 'Sweetface, have you seen your dad? He was supposed to help me get rid of the bodies earlier.'

Glen turned around from the book he was reading and shook his head. 'No, Mum, I haven't. Maybe he went to Andy's.'

'Yeah, maybe, but I swear I saw him right beside me when we were...' Tiffany saw Glen's eye twitching and didn't get into the gory details. 'Uh, never mind. I'm making sandwiches for lunch, would you like cheese on yours?'

**_A weird looking green house, somewhere in Canada..._**

' Hey, Pig, have you seen my Master? He went all goodbye and stuff.'

GIR held up a very vacant looking pig, his cyan eyes looking confused. The pig only gave the smallest grunt in the history of grunts. GIR's already tiny attention span twittered away and he shrugged, his tongue sticking out happily.

The doorbell rang and GIR skipped toward it. Flinging open the door, he hugged the person behind it. 'Um...' GIR looked up at the doorbell-ringer, who happened to be Dib. 'HI MARY!' Screamed GIR, which issued a jump from Dib. 'Hi, Zim's Evil Robot Dog Thingy. Um, I've noticed that Zim hasn't come around to my house since yesterday to shove his horrendously terrible plans to conquer Earth in my face. Usually this is a daily thing for him. Do you know where he went?'

'He went to the moon!' Shrieked GIR. 'No, wait, I remember something about going bye-bye and tacquitos. You want some of my tacquitos? I MAKE ME GOOD TACQUITOS!'

'Uh, no thanks. I just ate. Uh, I was wondering if I could come down to Zim's base and take photos? You know, just because...' He noticed that GIR was lying on the ground, playing with the Pig. 'O-kay, I'll just be...' He motioned towards the toilet in the kitchen.

GIR, of course, paid no attention to the big-headed human.

**_The Dark Lord's meeting hall..._**

'Where is Bellatrix? She was supposed to bring us back information about the Potter boy's whereabouts hours ago!'

He Who Must Not Be Named stalked up and down the ridiculously polished floor, his shiny head...uh... shining in the low light. Nagini slithered on the floor beside him and hissed every so often. The Dark Lord comforted his snake through Parseltongue, and Nagini quietened down. Bellatrix, his most faithful servant... keeping him waiting? She had some nerve. When she returned, how she would regret her delay.

'My Lord...' Came a voice from behind him. He Who Must Not Be Named turned to the person who spoke to him. Silver-white hair and a pale face, sunken eyes with black robes. In other words, Lucius Malfoy.

'Yaxley and Severus have searched everywhere. Bellatrix is nowhere to be found.' Lucius said, obviously intimidated. I can't blame him: who wouldn't be scared of the love child of a snake and Michael Jackson?

'Search again, then!' Snapped The Dark Lord. 'Bring out the spies to search in the Ministry, Grimmauld Place, Godric's Hollow if you must! Just bring me Bellatrix, and make it quick. Or suffer the consequences.' Nagini rose in the air and Mouldy Voldy ran a hand over her scaly skin. This made Lucius shudder and murmur a quick, 'Yes, My Lord...' and scarper sharpish.

'Why do they take advantage of extended countdowns, Nagini?' Asked He Who Must Not Be Named. Nagini hissed in response and You-Know-Who continued to pace the room, as if his mental rantings had not be disturbed.

**_Number 777_**

Reverend Meat cursed Johnny. The Doughboys stayed silent, unmoving and non-depressing. Squee continued to be small, frightened and too cute for words. The poor kid didn't know whether to feel glad that the scary neighbour man wasn't around to tel him bedtime stories or sad that when they were over, finally, he would have no one to talk to.

'I wonder where the Crazy Neighbour Man went, Shmee.' Said Squee to his teddy bear. Shmee stayed silent but Squee could hear him talking.

' No, he went to buy red paint yesterday. I know because I saw him covered in it when he came home.'

_Such a nice, innocent little Squee. No idea about the world he's growing up in. Remember what I said? It's a frightening world to be alone in. Lucky you're not alone, then, isn't it?_

**_The T.A.R.D.I.S, somewhere near Orion's Belt, roughly ten Earth years in the future..._**

'Doctor?'

Clara Oswald stalked the T.A.R.D.I.S in search of her favourite time-travelling weirdo. She had felt an unearthly presence a second ago and wasn't sure if Sexy the Blue Police Box was trying to freak her out or something was going on in the control room. She descended the steps leading to the heart of the T.A.R.D.I.S and saw no one. 'Hello? Doctor, are you here?' She called again.

She crept towards the glowing control panel and circled it, before going down the stairs that lead to underneath it. You know, underneath the transparent floor. 'Doctor? Come on, I know you're here, it's not funn-'

_Splodge._

Clara's boot stepped in something gooey. She looked down to see a bowl filled with fish strips and custard. The bowl had broken on impact with her shoe. 'Oh, frigmuffins.' She said, disgusted.

' What happened?'

The Doctor emerged from around the corner of the under-the-floor part of the T.A.R.D.I.S, his hair a complete mess from the goggles pushed up on his head and singe-marks all over his tweed jacket. He had black dotted all over his face and hands and his bow tell was askew. He looked like a mad scientist. A strangely attractive mad scientist, for that matter.

The Doctor looked at Clara and then at the bowl of fish-custard goodness on the floor and groaned. 'Cla-aa-ra!' He moaned. 'I was just about to eat that!'

'With those filthy hands?' Asked Clara, pointing to the Doctor's sludge covered hands.

'Hm, you have a point.' He said, looking at both sides of his hands. He shrugged and picked up a cloth to wipe them on. ' What can I help you with?'

'Well, I was just wondering if you were doing anything to my brain from a distance. I saw a face.' Said Clara. The Doctor put his goggles back on his eyes and picked up the complicated looking tool he had been using a minute ago. 'Well, I've just been trying to mend the T.A.R.D.I.S's central data bank. It shouldn't have interfered with your brain at all. Are you sure you're sleeping well?'

'Well, as well as I can before Snogbox here decides to make that weird noise she does. I swear she does it to grate on my nerves.' Said Clara. The Doctor looked at her through shiny black goggles. 'How many times do I have to tell you: it is not a snogbox! And I like that sound. It's cool. Like bow ties. And fezzes.'

'Well, if it wasn't you, and it wasn't the T.A.R.D.I.S, who was it?'

'I don't know. What did this face look like?'

Clara tried to remember. 'Um, well, it was a man. I think his hair was blonde. And he was laughing. Like, a lot.' The Doctor paused. 'Doctor? What is it?'

The Doctor hesitated before answering. 'Nothing. It's nothing. Maybe I messed with the T.A.R.D.I.S's reality field when I was messing with this. Yes, that's what it was. The face was nothing.'

'Are you sure?' Asked Clara.

'Positi- ARGH!'

Clara saw something seize the Doctor by the waist and try to drag him down into the core of the sno- I mean, T.A.R.D.I.S. She rushed over to grab hold of him and pull him out. 'Doctor! Your hand! Give me your hand!' The Doctor reached for Clara's hand and grabbed hold of it, while trying to kick the tentacle away from his waist. Clara played tug-of-war with the disguised time-machine until she gave a hearty pull and yanked the Doctor out of the nothingness. She toppled over and the Doctor followed suit. They both lay exhausted on the floor. The Doctor kicked the T.A.R.D.I.S. 'Bad Time And Relative Dimension In Space box. Bad.' This got an angry _vworp _from around Clara and The Doctor's heads. 'Oh, no, I didn't mean it! Good time machine! Lovely time machine!'

Clara just rolled her eyes and got up. After that she didn't mention the face again.

* * *

**I didn't do Sweeney or Esther because I wasn't sure what to write. Sue me.**

**Well, I hope this wasn't a massive waste of your time! If so...**

**BRAINFART.**

**Anyway, details about the game!**

**Basically, you guys get a role! Yays! All you have to do is review a method that the Fandoms can be eliminated by! Go crazy with your ideas! The more humiliating or despicable (no sexy stuff though, I have my boundaries) the better! But remember, it has to have a way that the winner can have a better chance of being crowned the Evillest Person in The Room. If it's just a water gun fight, who's going to win? No one. So... yeah. Something like, "Slapping Kittens" or whatever. Just make sure it's evil!**

**Then, after that chapter, will come the first results. After the elimination chapter, comment who you think will have won that test, and who would've come second, third, fourth and so on. The most popular Fandom goes to the next round, and the least popular has to have a forfeit. I hope that I explained it alright. If you need help understanding give me a ring on the old PM and I'll try my best to explain. Methods will be accepted until June 5th, so that should give you some time to brainstorm!**

**The winner at the end of the story will get a wonderful prize, which I will be choosing.**

**Happy rest of the day!**


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